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/ Monster Media 1996 #14 / Monster Media No. 14 (April 1996) (Monster Media, Inc.).ISO / text / words_mp.zip / 2.DET < prev    next >
Text File  |  1996-01-29  |  6KB  |  119 lines
  1. 24, 74, 1, 4, 159, 1, 0
  2. [RD,RD]
  3. [BK,YW]                            THE FUTURE IS NOW
  4. [MG,MG]
  5.   
  6.   
  7.                       [YW,LB]â█████████████████████████████á[LB,LB]
  8.                       [WH,BK]▓▓▓▓   THE INFINITE VERB   ▓▓▓▓[LB,LB]
  9.                       [YW,LB]███████████████████████████████[LB,LB]
  10.  
  11.                
  12.  
  13.                All ye who enter these halls of respectable
  14.                writing, abandon hope for sentences beginning 
  15.                with an [BK,YW] infinite verb. [LB,LB]
  16.                
  17.                Turning, she . . .
  18.                Taking a last puff, she . . .
  19.                Moving to the window, he . . .
  20.                Opening the refrigerator, she quickly . . .
  21.                Glancing at the wall-mounted thermometer, he . . .
  22.                Carrying the full bag of groceries, she slowly . . .
  23.                
  24.                The construction is grammatically correct but
  25.                professionally weak.  Frequently the purpose in
  26.                using it is to vary sentence construction.  You can
  27.                find better ways.
  28.  
  29.                 [BK,LC]                                                [LB,LB]
  30.                 [BK,LC]    John Gardner, probably the foremost         [LB,LB]
  31.                 [BK,LC]    fiction teacher of his generation,          [LB,LB]
  32.                 [BK,LC]    said "Sentences beginning with infinite     [LB,LB]
  33.                 [BK,LC]    verb phrases are so common in bad writing   [LB,LB]
  34.                 [BK,LC]    that one is wise to treat them as guilty    [LB,LB]
  35.                 [BK,LC]    until proven innocent . .."                 [LB,LB]
  36.                 [BK,LC]                                                [LB,LB]
  37.                
  38.                An inexperienced or mildly incompetent writer 
  39.                reviews a bit that reads:  She tossed the wet 
  40.                garment to the hamper.  Her eyes glowed.  She 
  41.                ran toward the bathroom.
  42.                
  43.                Even a lousy writer understands that it's awful. 
  44.                So she rewrites it to:  
  45.                
  46.                     Tossing the wet garment to the hamper,
  47.                     with glowing eyes, she ran toward the 
  48.                     bathroom.
  49.                     
  50.               That one doesn't light up her eyes, either.  She
  51.               rewrites again:
  52.               
  53.                     Glowing eyes followed the wet garment
  54.                     to the hamper as she scampered toward 
  55.                     the bathroom.
  56.                                 
  57.               Ugh . . . that's even worse. Oh, golly, will she 
  58.               ever get it right.  If she's a serious writer who 
  59.               looks for the logic, sure she will. 
  60.  
  61.              [BL,YW] LOGIC: [WH,LB] She tossed the wet garment to the hamper, 
  62.                          and with eyes glowing, scurried toward 
  63.                          the bathroom.
  64.                               
  65.              [BL,YW] BETTER: [WH,LB] She tossed the wet garment to the hamper
  66.                          and scurried to the bathroom, eyes glowing.
  67.  
  68.  
  69.                Here's a technique you can use to improve the power 
  70.                of your writing, add crisp, compelling, believabil- 
  71.                ity; eliminate words, and impress your peers.
  72.                
  73.                [BK,YW] COMPOUND PREDICATE [LB,LB]
  74.        
  75.                [WH,MG] Change this: [LB,LB]
  76.  
  77.                     Turning quickly, she picked up the fifty 
  78.                     thousand dollars and rushed out to buy 
  79.                     chairs for the standing army.
  80.                     
  81.                [WH,MG] To this: [LB,LB]
  82.                
  83.                     She turned, picked up the fifty thousand
  84.                     dollars and rushed out to buy  . . .
  85.  
  86.                Or this:  She turned, demolished Sir Hornrim with 
  87.                          a scathing glance, picked up the fifty 
  88.                          thousand dollars and . . .
  89.           
  90.                
  91.            [BK,LC] ┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────┐ [LB,LB]
  92.            [BK,LC] │               FOR A BETTER ANALYSIS               │ [LB,LB]
  93.            [BK,LC] │   of the infinite verb and other common beginners'│ [LB,LB]
  94.            [BK,LC] │   errors, see "The Art of Fiction," by the late   │ [LB,LB]
  95.            [BK,LC] │   John Gardner.  Now in paperback.                │ [LB,LB]
  96.            [BK,LC] └───────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ [LB,LB]
  97.  
  98.  
  99.                The infinite verb-phrase has its uses. When you 
  100.                want to slow the action, increase suspense, 
  101.                and heighten tension, you can do it like this:
  102.  
  103.                          Turning slowly, she gazed briefly through
  104.                          the picture window at the softly falling
  105.                          snow, and, as if in a slo-mo dream, reached
  106.                          for the ragged, yellow package she knew 
  107.                          contained the long searched-for fifty thousand 
  108.                          dollars.  Her dream, realized at last, extended
  109.                          to infinity.
  110.    
  111.                   [BK,CN] ┌─────────────────────────────────┐ [LB,LB]            
  112.                   [BK,CN] │    To pursue your own dream     │ [LB,LB]
  113.                   [BK,CN] │            [CN,WH]⌠ ──── ⌡[BK,CN]            │ [LB,LB]
  114.                   [BK,CN] └─────────────────────────────────┘ [LB,LB]        
  115.  
  116. [MG,MG]                                
  117. [BK,YW]                            THE FUTURE IS NOW            
  118. [RD,RD]
  119.